sickness and death (sad post) =(

last week, I visited my rheumatologist to review the results of my lab tests.  As it turns out, I have Hypothyroidism and Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Finding out about the hypo came as a surprise.  I stopped thinking about it after it was dismissed by my former doctor from Kaiser way back in 2008 (I think).  Maybe my doctor back then was just thinking I wanted an excuse for slowly putting on weight  and not being able to put it off (I have gained about 40 lbs in the last 4-5 years).  So I was expecting my rheumatologist to just straight up tell me, “You have R.A., this is what we’re going to do…”  Now, I need to take meds for the thyroid first and then after a couple of months, get checked again to see how the thyroid is doing and then get treatment for R.A. 

Now that I have been diagnosed, I feel extremely optimistic that I will get a better handle on my health and get help/treatment when I need to.  It has been a difficult couple of months for me:  two deaths in our extended family and my aches and pains puts a strain on my day.  The mornings have been especially difficult.  I wake up in the morning after a full night’s sleep and feel exhausted, with joints and muscles in terrible pain.  Hopefully, it’s uphill from here.

My father in law died 2 weeks ago.  My husband went home to the Philippines and stayed with him at the hospital before he passed away..  After my in-laws separated many years ago, my husband’s relationship with him was strained.  It was important for Paul to see his dad and tell him that all is forgiven, and that he loves him. It was good to reconcile but at the same time, it also makes me sad that it has taken this long to seek forgiveness.  Before we got married, I told Paul, ”You have to forgive your Dad.  You need that to become a better father, too.”  I know he forgave him but he never told Pop that. Before Pop died, we made sure he knows that he is loved, and that the Lord is there for him, also waiting for him to seek forgiveness and to turn to Christ as his Lord and Savior.  We believe that Pop accepted Christ and is peacefully with Him now. 

My cousin died two months ago.  I still can’t believe it’s already been two months.  He died of a brain aneurysm. An aneurysm at age 32.  Unbelievable.  =(  it’s still hard for me to talk about it and it makes me sad when I think that he’s no longer here.  I always send him messages and tell him how much I miss him, and I ask him when he’ll be back so we can spend time together.  Michelle asks me about him all the time.  She saw how devastated I was when I found out that he’s gone.  I miss him so much. 

all these things remind me that life is short...