when i grow up, i want to be...

when i was a kid, like every other kid i know, i wanted to be a doctor... until i realized that the sight of blood makes me pass out. so being a doctor (or a nurse) was out of the picture.

then i wanted to be a lawyer. i think a part of me still wants to be a lawyer...not the ambulance-chaser kind...but since we moved to the states, i would hear stories of how some immigration lawyers would rip their clients off by charging an arm and a leg even for the simplest of cases. i wanted to be an 'honest' immigration lawyer and not over-charge my would-be clients and to timely file paperwork, and to not make false promises to immigration cases that really have no way of getting resolved. my becoming a laywer could still happen, but i'm in no rush to get there so who knows if i'd ever really get there.

back in highschool, i wanted to be a journalist, until i didn't get into the program at u.p. so i settled with sociology instead. i didn't like sociology and the loneliness that overwhelmed me at diliman so i left (i was awol) and went here to the states and get a degree here.

at uc davis, i took up political science and anthropology because i found them both to be very interesting. but it was my anthropology professors that impressed me so much with their passion in learning about people, culture and the ties that bind all of us. i like to research,read and write so it seemed like a logical choice for me to pursue a masters degree or phd in anthro. but soon after i ventured into the corporate world, my aspiration to become anthropologist lost its appeal. lai or chel would also say, 'you don't like people that much so why would you study them?' which is somewhat true. takot ako dati sa tao! =)

now, i have my moments when i want to open my own bakery. but i can't open a bakery and only sell buko pie. this dream has a long ways to go as i have not really expanded on the products that i could sell. i make an excellent hazelnut chocolate bread pudding and egg custard pie that's also off the hook...yes, i'm bragging. =) they are quite tasty; my guinea pigs can attest to them (and i have not given food poisoning to any of them!). i have my eyes set on experimenting with a bibingka recipe which i might try next week. having my own business will allow me to spend more time with my daughter...plus, i can't be laid off if i own the bakery, right?

i need to have a clear vision and really pray about what else i can do with my life and the gifts that i have been blessed with. i want to be happy and contented and look forward to the job/career i will be doing for the rest of my life. am i having a case of quarter-life crisis or am i just out of a job for too long?

oh Lord! help me be what you want me to be!!!

daddy's girl

michelle grabbed a hold of her father's picture and started kissing it. sabay sabing...

"my daddy! my daddy! i miss my daddy. mommy, i'm sad. i miss my daddy."


oh how my heart broke into pieces. =(

something to look forward to

the view from our seat when we go to see kobe and the lakers in april...

masarap talaga ang libre ang ticket!

paul is going for the game...i'm going to see kung guwapo talaga si kobe and to go [hollywood] star-gazing. chel and t are coming, too.

one night lang kami sa l.a., really just there to see the game and celebrate paul's 100th birthday! =)

masaya kahit merong nawala

i can't get over the feeling na blessed na blessed ako kahit na nawalan ako ng trabaho.

i admit there are moments...siguro mga once a week, na parang nadidiscourage ako at medyo naiiyak kasi kinakabahan ako dahil wala akong trabaho. but then i turn to the Lord and I am reminded that there are so many things i have to be greatful for. nandyan ang pamilya ko, our health, my spiritual family, my friends. really, the most important things in my life are intact and thriving.

we really don't need to have EVERYTHING to be happy and contented and grateful.

god is good. GRABE! MATINDI!

like a proud momma

i know tselogs is really chel's baby, but i can't help but feel proud when i read all the reviews the restaurant has been getting on yelp (read the reviews here). nakaka proud. kuya oliver is an amazing chef! yes i call him chef, he's brilliant! everyone is warm and friendly. masarap talaga ang food...and i'm not saying it just because it's my best friend's restaurant.


and of course you know about the buko pie!!!! =D

Hugh Jackman re:Oscar

aaaaaaah! he is super guwapo, super macho, super talented! i will be glued to the oscars tomorrow.

note: i don't think my husband really knows i have the hots for hugh jackman, but he will after reading this!!!!

fireproof

Caleb: "Marriages aren't fireproof; sometimes people get burned."
Michael: "Fireproof doesn't mean that fire will never come, but that when it comes, you'll be able to withstand it."

my husband rented this movie as part of our extended valentine's day celebration. fireproof is easily one of the best and most memorable movies i have seen in the last 5 years. this movie made me cry like a baby and made me appreciate my husband and my family even more. sometimes kasi, we take our partners for granted. we become the best at our careers but horrible husbands or wives. this movie will encourage us to put God first, and everything else will fall into place.

to all my married friends and to all those who want to get married, i suggest you watch this movie. that old tagalog cliche that says, ang pagaasawa ang hindi parang kaning isusubo, na pwedeng iluwa kapag napaso...it's a cliche but it's so true. you should continue to pray for your marriage and make it centered upon the Lord para kahit magkaroon ng sunog, you will be able to withstand it.

Synopsis:

A heroic fireman locked in a failing marriage accepts his father's challenge to take part in a 40-day experiment designed to teach both husband and wife the true meaning of commitment in this faith-based marriage drama starring Kirk Cameron and Erin Bethea. When he's battling blazes, Capt. Caleb Holt (Cameron) adheres to the old firefighter's adage about never leaving your partner behind; back at home, it's an altogether different story. Caleb and his wife Catherine (Bethea) have been married for seven years, but lately arguments over career, housework, finances, and outside interests have driven the once-happy couple hopelessly apart. Just as Caleb and Catherine prepare to officially dissolve their marriage, Caleb's father John (Harris Malcolm) presents his son with a most unusual challenge: commit to a 40-day experiment called "The Love Dare," and take one last shot at saving his marriage. While at first Caleb agrees to take a chance on "The Love Dare," the discovery that it's closely tied in with his parent's newfound faith causes him to momentarily reconsider. Still, Caleb carries on with the experiment despite being constantly rejected by his skeptical, embittered wife. When Caleb asks his father how he can be expected to love someone who refuses to give him a fair chance, John tells his son that this is precisely the same love that God shows for humankind. Now, with a little help from above, the man who makes headlines for saving lives will fight to be a hero to the one person who matters most -- his wife.

fantastically frugal tip

during tough economic times, we have to learn to spend our money wisely. gone are the days when i buy whatever i want, whenever i want such as subscribing to a parenting magazine and adding new songs to my ipod. while both are relatively inexpensive, they do add up.

our fantastically frugal tip: OPEN A LIBRARY CARD!


this is the solution i have found to the things i've mentioned above. the library has a good selection of magazines. new issues cannot be checked out but previous months are available and can be checked out for a week. cds can be checked out for 3 weeks as well as most books. dvds are also available, and free to check out. no need to pay $5 each time you borrow from blockbuster. i borrowed 2 christian cds and added them to my ipod and borrowed last month's issue of Parenting magazine. =) and it didn't cost me anything!

the library is about 4 blocks away from our house and is a convenient stop when i'm running errands. i brought michelle there last week and she enjoyed picking books and looking at all the pictures. it's a nice (and totally free) way to get kids interested in books and reading.

extended v day celeb

feb 14: for valentine's day, paul and i had a lunch date at amber india, an indian restaurant in the city. kasama daw to sa best restaurants in san francisco. masarap naman ang food. hindi naman nakakabutas masyado ng bulsa. the restaurant is nice and the service is good. dahil maaga kami, we stopped by this glass store next door. may nagustuhan akong glass pendant pero bigla nya inignore noong nakita yung cute na aso. sabi ko, 'aren't you gonna get me the pendant?' sabi nya, 'i will!' feeling ko kung hindi ako nagtanong, makakalimutan na si pendant. pinapaltan ko lang ng black na chord yung kwintas kasi di ko gusto yung purple na chord.

saturday afternoon, dumating naman si pao, our friend from pi. magtatrabaho muna sya sa tselogs habang nandito sya. before he left pi, tinanong nya ako kung ano daw gusto ko from pi, sabi ko cassava cake at ayun, parang ayaw ko na tigilan yung cassava cake. pero i had my very last piece kagabi (hindi dahil ubos na! marami pang natira)...i'm back to my wii fit thing too and i have a countdown to claire's wedding and my goal of losing 20 lbs in 13 weeks. haaay, wish me luck talaga pagdating dito.

feb 15: we went to church in the morning and had dinner at spiral in the evening kahit na parang delubyo ang lakas ng ulan.

feb 16: paul and i watched fireproof on dvd and we absolutely loved it. i highly recommend it for married couples. sabi ko kay chel, it's not an oscar-worthy movie, but it has the power to change your life for the better, and that is worth so much more than an oscar statue. by the end of the movie, paul and i were crying (i was crying like i was crazy, my daughter was trying to comfort me, cute!) and we found a new love and a new appreciation for each other. grabe talaga, nakakatouch.

in the evening, i had to say goodbye to my husband. lungkot nanaman. but i asked him to come back again early in march. haaaay. oh well, basta we are so thankful and so blessed that despite yung mahirap na sitwasyon namin dahil magkalayo kami, we are happy and in love. napakarami talaga naming dapat ipagpasalamat sa Panginoon. =)

a-hha's video

our adopted dog a-hha is quite the celebrity.

our beloved pup, a-hha

this is the closest we will ever get to have a pet (for now at least).

my gift to my husband is our beloved puppy, a-hha.

Black Bum

Amongst the crowds,

Weaves a little black Bum.

Who knows where it is going?

Who knows where it came from?

No one gives it a second glance

No one pays it any mind.

from Liuligongfang Glass Art in SF

rosy depths of love

Rosy Depths of Love

Is it precious

Because it is a rose,

Or is it because of me?

If you feel impassioned,

If you cannot clear your head,

Is it because of me

Or is because of love?

from Liuligongfang Glass Art in SF

Thanks beb! I absolutely love it!!!

food for the soul...

The lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children. - Psalm 103:17

God is good, all the time!

scan to pdf

if you're like me, who's gone mad about your scanner not being able to scan directly into pdf files, here's a solution i found....

http://www.koma-code.de/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=39&Itemid=82

after installing the software into your computer, open the application and click on the scan icon, type the number of pages you are scanning, scan, then save. you've got yourself a pdf document.

i hope this helps.

Bagets!

rsv question ni ninang lai

hindi satisfied si ninang lai sa rsv explanation ng link na pinost ko recently. so here is a better link about the virus that landed michelle in the hospital.

rsv and bronchiolitis

high school senti comes every 5 years

it's another grand alumni homecoming sa SAS and wala nanaman ako. tumatanda na ako hindi pa ako nakaka attend ng alumni namin. =( i miss my highschool friends and i wish i can spend time with them again. yung mga barkada ko, we see each other a lot everytime i go back home, pero ngayon, kalat kalat narin kami sa kung saan saang lupalop ng mundo so who knows kung kelan pa ulit kami magkakasama-sama.

i am surprised i am overwhelmed by nostalgia. naalala ko na pumapasok ako ng maaga sa school dahil napakahirap pumunta ng tanza dahil sa dami ng nagtatrabaho sa epza na kaagaw namin sa jeep at baby bus. naalala ko ang pagpunta namin sa binakayan at cavite city (wala pa non sa tanza dati) para kumain sa mcdo or jollibee. oorder kami ng fried chicken at magpapabalik balik sa counter para humingi ng SANGKATUTAK na extra gravy. namimiss ko mag volleyball kasama si celeste...talagang the last time i played real volleyball e highschool pa ako. (gano na kaya ako ka-bano dito ngayon?) nakaka miss tumambay sa bahay nila joy or kumain ng ltb sa marijo at tapsilog sa tito bert's (i wonder if i got this right). naglalakad kami papuntang umboy para sumakay ng jeep pauwi, kasabay namin sa doc pangi na isang kanto nalang ang layo ng bahay e sasakay parin ng jeep paikot para lang ma-maximize ang time naming magbabarkada. namimiss ko ang pagkamiss nila sa luto ng mommy ko. namimiss ko na pag magkakasama kami ang lagi namin lulutuin e spaghetti. nakakamiss magpunta ng retirees at tumambay sa chapel at mahabol ng mga aso ng kapitbahay nila jeshan. nakakamiss din mag CAT, sumali sa mga kung ano anong quizbee sa kung saan saang lupalop ng pilipinas kasama si oszie at etey at prof john. nakakamiss magsulat para sa crosier at bakulo. namimiss ko ang meeting ng CSG, namimiss ko na lagi kaming excused ni dia sa classes dahil nagkochoreograph kami ng sayaw pag may event sa school at ang mga dance numbers namin nila imee, joy, sheryl, lizette, thessa, charry, at si jade (did i miss anyone else? sorry kung meron!). namimiss ko ang mga teachers ko...nakakamiss din si ma'am elias, swerte kami barkada namin si santa fe na apo nya kaya malakas kami sa kanya kahit may katigasan ang mga ulo namin.

there are so many memories that i cherish and reliving them in my mind makes me smile. i have truly lived a blessed life...i am blessed with a wonderful youth...wonderful memories and wonderful friends.

sobrang dami ko pang naaalala but it will be too long to write so i'll just reminisce on my own. i really miss you all, SAS batch 97, and will always remember you with the fondest of memories.

home but...

home but missin' my husband. *sigh*

michelle is still not 100%. still clingy and impatient. but she's eating and drinking. that's the important part. she has to put back the weight she lost. she might have lost maybe 4 lbs...may not sound like a lot. but if you only weight 32 lbs before getting sick, that's 12.5% of your body weight and that's significant. (galing ko mag math no? peborit subject ko yun e! hehe)

anywayz, still no sign of work so i might as well enjoy the time i have with michelle.

my good, good, good friend who i got a job at merrill just last summer was laid off today. ha! madami daw ulit natanggal ngayon but i don't know who else and how many. talaga naman, oo. grabe! pero balita sa tfc yata that bank of america is hiring the the philippines. WAG KAYO MAGAAPPLY KASI MALELAY OFF KAYO EVENTUALLY!!! Joke!!! (not!) hehehe

on to the brighter side of things... my buko pie is getting rave reviews on yelp. read on...i am basking in the glow of their love of the tastiest buko pie IN THE WORLD!!!!

getting better and goin' home

michelle is feeling a lot better. we checked out of the hospital at around 2 pm and we're scheduled to fly back to the bay area tomorrow. she's still whiny but she's eating and drinking well now.

i'm glad the worst is over. it has been a rough week for the 3 of us, especially for michelle of course.

michelle update

we are currently admitted to the hospital and the doctors finally found out what's making her sick. she has rsv.

she's feeling better, playing, eating a little and drinking. =) we might be discharged tomorrow and fly back to sf on thursday. she misses 'big house' and can't wait to play with her slide. i'm so relieve that she's overcome the worse of the symptoms. she playing catch with her dad right now. 'love em to bits!

E.R. part two

we went back to the er for another round of tests and another round of a mega-upset 2 year old. hospital visits are never fun no matter what your age.

we are still in portland; still unsure whether or not my daughter will be well enough to fly back to san francisco tomorrow. southwest was kind enough to reschedule us again for tomorrow without having to pay for the difference in airfare which is not their standard procedure. if we can't fly out tomorrow, i'll book us a flight on ua or alaska that will take us straight to sfo instead of oak so michelle can be home sooner.

my husband and i are exhausted and i can only imagine what my daughter must be going through. my hats off to all the other parents out there who've been through so much more than what we're going through.



michelle's really weak and lethargic. but there are moments throughout the day where we see the same old michelle who loves to sing and dance and laugh. i'm confident that she will get well very very soon. my husband and i, along with the doctors would rather err on the side of caution and examine her thoroughly than regret it later on.

thank you all for thinking of her and praying for her.

superbowl sunday = boring

AYAW KO NG FOOTBALL!

my husband has not successfully introduced this sport to me. i have asked him thousands of times what 1st down means, then the 3rd down...nirereject talaga ng utak ko. the commercials are not that great either. there's none that really stand out. go daddy's ads are ALWAYS sooooooo lame. walang kwenta commercials dito, i swear.

i'm bored. booooooooooored. my beautiful baby girl is fast asleep and resting comfortably so i have no one to smother with hugs and kisses. (bigla ko naisip, why not smother the husband with hugs and kisses? sagot: para sa husband, superbowl sunday = dedma muna ang wifey)

tired as tired could be

we got home at around 330 am this morning after about five and a half exhausting hours in one of portland's emergency rooms. we were worried about michelle's extremely high fever and her loss of appetite so we decided to have her checked. they gave her an iv to get her hydrated, they took blood and xrays of her chest. she was diagnosed with mild pneumonia. after 600 ml of fluids and a good dose of antibiotics, we went home. it has been one of my longest nights as a parent and i wanted to cry while they were trying to find a vein for the iv. it's heartbreaking to see your child in such discomfort and i wish i could take all the pain away. =( the doctor who saw michelle was very helpful and reassuring. i can't help but compare the service that we got from a non-kaiser doctor. we left the hospital tired but relieved because we know the doctor really took the time to thoroughly examine michelle and make sure she will be ok.

she's feeling much better now. she's taking her milk and eating better than yesterday and keeping it down. her fever has significantly gone down as well. she's already lost some weight but she's more active than she was yesterday. her eyes are still droopy and i am praying she'll be well enough to fly back to the bay area tomorrow. we were supposed to fly back tonight but i had to call the airline and tell them about the medical emergency and they rebooked us for tomorrow without charging us any fees (go southwest!!!!). we have to provide them a statement from the doctor during check in that michelle has the greenlight to fly. hopefully, we'll get that tomorrow when we bring her in for a follow up appointment.

*sigh* oh, the growing pains of parenthood.