when i grow up, i want to be...

when i was a kid, like every other kid i know, i wanted to be a doctor... until i realized that the sight of blood makes me pass out. so being a doctor (or a nurse) was out of the picture.

then i wanted to be a lawyer. i think a part of me still wants to be a lawyer...not the ambulance-chaser kind...but since we moved to the states, i would hear stories of how some immigration lawyers would rip their clients off by charging an arm and a leg even for the simplest of cases. i wanted to be an 'honest' immigration lawyer and not over-charge my would-be clients and to timely file paperwork, and to not make false promises to immigration cases that really have no way of getting resolved. my becoming a laywer could still happen, but i'm in no rush to get there so who knows if i'd ever really get there.

back in highschool, i wanted to be a journalist, until i didn't get into the program at u.p. so i settled with sociology instead. i didn't like sociology and the loneliness that overwhelmed me at diliman so i left (i was awol) and went here to the states and get a degree here.

at uc davis, i took up political science and anthropology because i found them both to be very interesting. but it was my anthropology professors that impressed me so much with their passion in learning about people, culture and the ties that bind all of us. i like to research,read and write so it seemed like a logical choice for me to pursue a masters degree or phd in anthro. but soon after i ventured into the corporate world, my aspiration to become anthropologist lost its appeal. lai or chel would also say, 'you don't like people that much so why would you study them?' which is somewhat true. takot ako dati sa tao! =)

now, i have my moments when i want to open my own bakery. but i can't open a bakery and only sell buko pie. this dream has a long ways to go as i have not really expanded on the products that i could sell. i make an excellent hazelnut chocolate bread pudding and egg custard pie that's also off the hook...yes, i'm bragging. =) they are quite tasty; my guinea pigs can attest to them (and i have not given food poisoning to any of them!). i have my eyes set on experimenting with a bibingka recipe which i might try next week. having my own business will allow me to spend more time with my daughter...plus, i can't be laid off if i own the bakery, right?

i need to have a clear vision and really pray about what else i can do with my life and the gifts that i have been blessed with. i want to be happy and contented and look forward to the job/career i will be doing for the rest of my life. am i having a case of quarter-life crisis or am i just out of a job for too long?

oh Lord! help me be what you want me to be!!!