she's shaking things up in heaven

my dear friend, anna lisa dayag, passed away this morning from her year long battle with cancer.  naturally, we who are close to her all feel sad.  i can't stop thinking about her and all the thinking and crying has made me so exhausted.  i know she doesn't want us to be sad and i know she's in a better place....and i'm not just saying that.  there is no doubt in my mind that she is in heaven right now, either walking through her mansion, eating at a banquet fit for royalty, or singing and dancing and worshiping the Lord. 

what i love most and will never forget about ate anna is the tremedous amount of faith she had in the Lord and the joy she had despite her illness.  she was diagnosed in june last year with stage 4 colon cancer.  her doctors thought she only had a couple of months to live and they were all surprised by her will to live and fight the disease to the very end.  during her chemotherapy sessions at the hospital, she would walk from room to room and encourage other cancer patients like her and tell them about the love of God.  the other patients didn't believe her at first when she told them that her cancer was at its last stage and that the only thing that could cure her was a miracle from the Lord.  how can this woman, whose cells are conspiring to terminate her life still have this joy and this optimism?  ate anna believed that her purpose in life was to share the gospel of Christ to the cancer patients at Seton Hospital and she did so with every strength she had.

i'm sure there where moments when she asked the Lord why it had to happen to her.  but i also know that through her entire ordeal, she never doubted that Christ was by her side, holding her hand through every painful prick, through every excruciating day. 

ate anna loved to laugh, and she loved to eat.  napakabait ni ate anna.  there is nothing negative i can say about her.  she was very patient, very kind.  she always had a smile on her lips and a sparkle in her eyes.  

we also shared our birthdays.  so when the month of may rolls around, maguusap na kami kung ano ang ihahanda namin sa birthday namin.  kainan nanaman!!!!

oh how i miss you ate anna!  i miss cooking for you and i miss how you rave about my cooking at ang paborito mong luto ko.  i miss your hugs and i miss hearing your voice! i miss everything about you!

thank you for showing us how to trust in the Lord by the way you lived your life.  thank you for being part of my life.  i wish you knew what an impact you've made and how you've made all of us better people.  

like i told you ate, say a prayer for us as you enjoy eternity with the Lord.  you're probably thinking, 'naku sister! nakapasaya ko dito!  just keep the faith and in God's perfect time, makikita mo rin ang Glory ng Lord!  there are no words to describe it!  ibang level na talaga to! o sige, worship muna kami!  ang saya talaga grabe!'

nalulungkot ako, pero napapangiti rin kasi alam ko na you are experiencing joy beyond words and the true peace that passes all understanding.  we're going to take good care of pierre.  malaki nanaman sya e...but we'll guide him to be the best person he can be and live his life in a way that will make you proud.  

goodbye, ate anna!  we love you!

kitchen remodel: day 5

all the cabinets have been removed. the wonderboards have been laid.

we picked the tiles today, too.  i can't wait for all this to be over!  =)

kitchen remodel: day 2

the door to what used to be the hall closet has been removed and light switches are moved

wood floors are stripped to make way for ceramic tile

the header is installed to support the roof

we picked the style of cabinets last saturday (paul's choice), and we picked the counter tops today (my choice).  compromise di ba?  para we both get a little bit of what we want.  =D

kitchen remodel: day 1

the wall that separates the kitchen from the living room and the dining room have been knocked down and they made a hole in the wall for the door frame of what would be the pantry area. 

in response to ANONYMOUS

he/she asked regarding my previous post about obedience:

Hindi ako sumasagot sa magulang ko pero hindi ko sila sinusunod. Lumaki kse akong wala sila kaya hindi nila ako kilala kaya i don't think na alam din nila yung tama para sa akin. Manipulative parents ko. Mali pa rin po ba yon?

before i go on, let me just say that I, as a daughter, i operate under the 5th commandment that says, "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you" Exodus 20:12.  God holds parents in very high regard kaya nga after our duty to the Lord with the first 4 commandments, the next commandment he gives is for us to honor our parents.  this is also the only commandment with a promise...if i honor my parents, my days will be long in the land that the Lord is going to give to me.  so san man ako mapadpad, panghahawakan ko ang pangakong ito na because i believe i have been an obedient daughter to my parents and honored them as best as i can, my life will prosper wherever the Lord leads me. 

but i also know that not every one is perfect...kahit ako, marami rin namang pagkakataon na hindi ko sinunod ang parents ko...maraming beses akong napalo, napagalitan, nakurot at nasabunutan, pero overall, i know i did my best to be obedient to them. there are a lot of parents out there that have done many questionable things kaya't nababawasan ang respeto ng mga anak nila sa kanila.  pero ano ang dapat gawin ng mga anak na may ganoong mga magulang?

without knowing the whole story as to why Anonymous' relationship with his/her parents is not ideal, i can only speak in general and broad terms.

so anonymous, here's my perspective as a daughter, and as a parent.

personally, i think ang hindi pagsunod sa magulang is disrespectful and rude.  you may not get into a screaming match with your parents (and of course you shouldn't) pero kahit tahimik ka lang pero sasawayin naman ang sinasabi nila, that's passive aggressive and frankly, i think very cowardly.  kung naniniwala ka na tama ka, at mali sila, have you tried reasoning out to them instead of just ignoring what they say? or maybe you have an adult you can trust like older relatives or grandparents, you can ask them if they think your parents suggestions are correct and make your choice to obey or not.  

sabi sa 1 peter 3:9, 'Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.'  so if your parents are manipulative, be the opposite of that.  if they are disrespectful of you, give them respect.  the only way to turn things around is not to fight fire with fire, but to fight wrong with what is right.



i don't know what happened at hindi maganda ang relationship mo sa parents mo, but if you don't trust them because they are manipulative, you can ask yourself too if you you've done enough to gain their trust and their respect.  yun bang, maipakita mo sa kanila na sa kabila ng pagkukulang nila sa iyo, wala silang maisusumbat or mairereklamo sayo dahil naging mabuti ka paring anak sa kanila.  hindi ba't mas mabuti para sa iyo na maisip nila yung panghihinayang at pagsisisi sa pagkukulang nila sayo? relationships are very fragile and can be damaged very easily, pero sana may desire sa puso mo to repair your relationship with your parents.  but your relationship with them will not be repaired kung patuloy mo silang susuwayin.  lalo lang masisira ang relasyon nyo kung ikaw ang magmamatigas.

more important than anything at this point is for old wounds to heal.  siguro talagang maraming pagkukulang ang mga magulang mo sayo and i pray to the Lord that in His perfect time, you may find it in your heart to forgive them kahit pa man hindi sila humingi ng paumanhin sa iyo.  and also na marealize ng parents mo the mistakes they have made and make every effort na makabawi sa mga pagkukulang nila.  and you too, bilang anak, hindi ka rin perpekto, but strive to be the son/daughter they will be proud of...and that will begin through obedience. 

we cannot change people.  that's the Lord's job.  just pray for your family na maitama ang lahat ng mali at maging maayos ang relationship nyo.

but i would strongly suggest that you evaluate yung mga sinasabi sayo ng parents mo and learn to separate the good and the bad...yung alam mo na talagang mali, of course, wag mo gawin.  i am certain you are at the age where you know right from wrong and are mature enough to know the difference between what you know is right versus what you want to happen.  hindi lahat ng gusto natin para sa sarili natin is the best decision.  kung ako masusunod noon, i would have left my parents to study abroad or out of state or wherever i wanted to go.  i was of age and i knew i could do it...pero tama ba na iwan ko ang parents ko mag isa knowing na ako lang ang anak nila dito na pwedeng tumulong sa kanila?  hindi.  you have to learn to compromise, too. hindi puro kabig nalang dahil yun ang gusto mo para sa sarili mo.  there's a side of me that still wonders what would have happened if i went ahead with what i wanted for myself, kasi alam ko naman na hindi mali iyon, pero ano ba ang mas matimbang?  yung gusto ko, or yung mas makabubuti sa marami?  kailangan may konting sakripisyo because if your intentions are good and what you are doing is good, it will turn out alright. 


i really pray that if not your parents, you have godly relatives, grandparents, godparents, or kung sino mang nakatatanda na makakapag gabay sayo, sila ang pakinggan mo.  but continue to pray for your family na maging maayos ang lahat.  


i may not know who you are, but please believe me...God loves you and your parents.  His plans for you are to prosper you and not to harm you.  to give you hope and a good future.  i pray that in God's perfect time, you will reconcile with your parents and make up for lost time.  i also pray that whatever mistakes your parents have made in raising you or for their inability to raise you, na hindi iyon mangyari sa mga magiging anak mo.  i pray that you will be the best mother, or the best father to your children or future children.  i declare the love of god to cover you, his blessings to follow you, and his peace to comfort you. 

i fell in love with zora...

i'm not the type to get a pet.  i never, never, never, had the urge to get a pet.  i have allergies and would rather not deal with pet hair and dander.  i just can't deal with it.

but ever since michelle was born, i've warmed up to the idea of having a pet.  paul loves dogs.  michelle loves them, too.  while i have become more open to the idea of getting a pet, i still can't bring myself to get a pet.  

until i formally met zora, my boss' havanese dog.

she is just adorable!  just the right size, does not shed (i've never seen my boss come to work covered in zora's hair and zora sleeps in her bed!), she is litter trained, trained not to bark too much...she's my dream dog!!!

so i'm researching more and more about havanese dogs and have decided that when we do get a dog, it will be just like zora.  haaaay!  i still think about her and how sweet she was.

this isn't zora, but this is what havanese dogs look like.  sooooo cute!!!

buti nalang...

buti nalang hindi matigas ulo ko.  pag may sinabi sa akin ang parents ko, more often than not, sumusunod ako.  naniniwala kasi ako na hindi nila ako ililigaw.  alam ko kasi na maganda ang mga plano nila para sa akin, so what they say, i usually follow.  kahit ngayon na may asawa at anak na ako, nakikinig parin ako sa sinasabi nila.  panalangin ko, makita at matutunan ni michelle ang ganitong pag galang sa magulang kahit na ano pa man ang edad nya.  salamat sa Panginoon at pinaintindi nya sa akin na ang pagsunod ko sa mga magulang ko, ay pagsunod ko rin sa Kanya. 

nalulungkot ako pag may naririnig akong mga kabataan na hindi marunong igalang ang mga magulang nila.  maaring hindi sila nagkaroon ng napakabuting mga magulang, pero hindi naman dahilan yun para hindi nila sundin ang mga magulang nila.  siguro passive lang din talaga ako at hindi ko ugali ang magsasasagot, magdabog or magsimangot sa harap ng mga taong nakatatanda sa akin.  nababastusan ako sa ganon.  ayoko kasing gawin yun sa harap ko kaya ayoko rin gawin sa harap nila.  maturity ba ang tawag dun?  

salamat talaga at hindi na ako teenager.  maaaring nagsisimula ng lumabas ang wrinkles ko sa mukha, pero kapalit naman non ay ang wisdom that comes with age.  naks!  ang drama.  pero totoo, kahit pa mas balingkinitan ang katawan ko noon, hindi ko ipagpapalit ang knowledge at experiences na naranasan ko...yung hindi mo pa nakikita ang ending e parang alam mo na ang mangyayari.

yun ang meron ang mga magulang at nakatatanda...they may not have experienced the same exact experience, but the premise is pretty much the same.  they already have an idea how things are going to end.  with youth comes oversight, but with age comes foresight.  kawawa ang kabataan na hindi marunong makinig sa payo ng mga nakakatanda.

it's foolish for the youth to think they have life all figured out and to refuse the counsel of the elders.   

call me a stage mom...

but isn't she just precious?!?!?!?!

after our trip to the vineyards today, we stopped by the napa premium outlets.   the sales people at cole haan were all over her, gushing over her...napabili tuloy kami ni paul ng tig-isang sapatos!

i really find her cute.  =)

michelle's going to start pre-school

how quickly time flies.  i can still remember the day i found out i was pregnant like it happened yesterday.  i have to admit, i freaked out when i found out i was pregnant.  i wasn't ready for it.  i didn't want to get pregnant 3 months after getting married.  i wanted to enjoy being a wife before i became a mother.  but god was trying to make a point.  it was time i stop thinking about me, me, and me.  it was time for him to teach me about a different kind of love.  as the days turned into weeks,and the weeks into months leading up to michelle's birth, god taught me to be a capable and loving parent.  

fast forward to 46 months later...at 3 3/4 years old, michelle is getting ready for her first day at pre-school.  she's spent about 2 1/2 years in day care with just a couple of kids and she's surrounded by older kids and 2 younger children at church. but she's never been in 'classroom' set up with a dozen other kids in her class and a couple hundred older kids.  i wonder what her first reaction would be?  how will the other kids react to her being around?  i am more anxious than she is.  at least she'll have one familiar face in her class.  her friend, angelo (tiray's nephew), goes to the same school and will be in the same class. 

we'll see how her first day goes.

on another michelle update, she's been sleeping ALONE in her own room for the last 5 nights.  she gained self confidence when i told her one morning that she slept in her room but that i missed her so much that i picked her up early in the morning and brought her back to bed with me.  she said, 'really mommy?  i slept in my room?!  YES!!!!'  the following evening, when we told her she's sleeping in her room by herself, she didn't put up much of a fight.  after 3 bedtime stories, she fell asleep and i walked back to our bedroom next door.  she woke up at around 4 am the first two nights (we still use the baby monitor so we can hear her if she wakes up) and paul and i went in to put her back to bed.  after those two nights, she's been sleeping soundly on her bed, in her room...in fact she slept so soundly that this morning, my mom said michelle got out of bed at 10:25 am (she usually wakes up at 7:30 or 8 am).  she's really growing up!!!!

so this is what it feels like

to have him home.

to have my cup of coffee in the morning while he eats his breakfast and we watch the morning news together.

to have him home for dinner each night.

to spend weekends as a family.

to have time to cuddle with michelle each night.

i love having him home.  =D

a pain in the 'rear'

it was an interesting morning i had today.

i was headed to work and as i pulled out of the garage  then....BAM!!! 

i didn't see him, he didn't see me.  this is the damage.

 the other car

i'm still thankful that no one got hurt.  it took most of my morning to sort everything out...from exchanging licenses and insurance information, calling the police whom we waited an hour for only to tell us they're not going to do anything (i kinda knew that), then calling the insurance company, then taking my car to the shop so it can be checked/repaired....nakaka stress!!!

the autobody shop is going to order a new bumper which should arrive next week, then they will call me when it arrives and fix the car so it looks as good as new.

this is my first (and hopefully last) accident since i learned to drive.  my cautiousness just went up, to the highest level!!!!