in response to ANONYMOUS

he/she asked regarding my previous post about obedience:

Hindi ako sumasagot sa magulang ko pero hindi ko sila sinusunod. Lumaki kse akong wala sila kaya hindi nila ako kilala kaya i don't think na alam din nila yung tama para sa akin. Manipulative parents ko. Mali pa rin po ba yon?

before i go on, let me just say that I, as a daughter, i operate under the 5th commandment that says, "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you" Exodus 20:12.  God holds parents in very high regard kaya nga after our duty to the Lord with the first 4 commandments, the next commandment he gives is for us to honor our parents.  this is also the only commandment with a promise...if i honor my parents, my days will be long in the land that the Lord is going to give to me.  so san man ako mapadpad, panghahawakan ko ang pangakong ito na because i believe i have been an obedient daughter to my parents and honored them as best as i can, my life will prosper wherever the Lord leads me. 

but i also know that not every one is perfect...kahit ako, marami rin namang pagkakataon na hindi ko sinunod ang parents ko...maraming beses akong napalo, napagalitan, nakurot at nasabunutan, pero overall, i know i did my best to be obedient to them. there are a lot of parents out there that have done many questionable things kaya't nababawasan ang respeto ng mga anak nila sa kanila.  pero ano ang dapat gawin ng mga anak na may ganoong mga magulang?

without knowing the whole story as to why Anonymous' relationship with his/her parents is not ideal, i can only speak in general and broad terms.

so anonymous, here's my perspective as a daughter, and as a parent.

personally, i think ang hindi pagsunod sa magulang is disrespectful and rude.  you may not get into a screaming match with your parents (and of course you shouldn't) pero kahit tahimik ka lang pero sasawayin naman ang sinasabi nila, that's passive aggressive and frankly, i think very cowardly.  kung naniniwala ka na tama ka, at mali sila, have you tried reasoning out to them instead of just ignoring what they say? or maybe you have an adult you can trust like older relatives or grandparents, you can ask them if they think your parents suggestions are correct and make your choice to obey or not.  

sabi sa 1 peter 3:9, 'Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.'  so if your parents are manipulative, be the opposite of that.  if they are disrespectful of you, give them respect.  the only way to turn things around is not to fight fire with fire, but to fight wrong with what is right.



i don't know what happened at hindi maganda ang relationship mo sa parents mo, but if you don't trust them because they are manipulative, you can ask yourself too if you you've done enough to gain their trust and their respect.  yun bang, maipakita mo sa kanila na sa kabila ng pagkukulang nila sa iyo, wala silang maisusumbat or mairereklamo sayo dahil naging mabuti ka paring anak sa kanila.  hindi ba't mas mabuti para sa iyo na maisip nila yung panghihinayang at pagsisisi sa pagkukulang nila sayo? relationships are very fragile and can be damaged very easily, pero sana may desire sa puso mo to repair your relationship with your parents.  but your relationship with them will not be repaired kung patuloy mo silang susuwayin.  lalo lang masisira ang relasyon nyo kung ikaw ang magmamatigas.

more important than anything at this point is for old wounds to heal.  siguro talagang maraming pagkukulang ang mga magulang mo sayo and i pray to the Lord that in His perfect time, you may find it in your heart to forgive them kahit pa man hindi sila humingi ng paumanhin sa iyo.  and also na marealize ng parents mo the mistakes they have made and make every effort na makabawi sa mga pagkukulang nila.  and you too, bilang anak, hindi ka rin perpekto, but strive to be the son/daughter they will be proud of...and that will begin through obedience. 

we cannot change people.  that's the Lord's job.  just pray for your family na maitama ang lahat ng mali at maging maayos ang relationship nyo.

but i would strongly suggest that you evaluate yung mga sinasabi sayo ng parents mo and learn to separate the good and the bad...yung alam mo na talagang mali, of course, wag mo gawin.  i am certain you are at the age where you know right from wrong and are mature enough to know the difference between what you know is right versus what you want to happen.  hindi lahat ng gusto natin para sa sarili natin is the best decision.  kung ako masusunod noon, i would have left my parents to study abroad or out of state or wherever i wanted to go.  i was of age and i knew i could do it...pero tama ba na iwan ko ang parents ko mag isa knowing na ako lang ang anak nila dito na pwedeng tumulong sa kanila?  hindi.  you have to learn to compromise, too. hindi puro kabig nalang dahil yun ang gusto mo para sa sarili mo.  there's a side of me that still wonders what would have happened if i went ahead with what i wanted for myself, kasi alam ko naman na hindi mali iyon, pero ano ba ang mas matimbang?  yung gusto ko, or yung mas makabubuti sa marami?  kailangan may konting sakripisyo because if your intentions are good and what you are doing is good, it will turn out alright. 


i really pray that if not your parents, you have godly relatives, grandparents, godparents, or kung sino mang nakatatanda na makakapag gabay sayo, sila ang pakinggan mo.  but continue to pray for your family na maging maayos ang lahat.  


i may not know who you are, but please believe me...God loves you and your parents.  His plans for you are to prosper you and not to harm you.  to give you hope and a good future.  i pray that in God's perfect time, you will reconcile with your parents and make up for lost time.  i also pray that whatever mistakes your parents have made in raising you or for their inability to raise you, na hindi iyon mangyari sa mga magiging anak mo.  i pray that you will be the best mother, or the best father to your children or future children.  i declare the love of god to cover you, his blessings to follow you, and his peace to comfort you.