day 12, bell's palsy

i feel REALLY, REALLY good today.  like i have 75% control of my face.  i even think i can blink on my own now (at least that's what i think.   we'll see about this as the day goes).  


recap of friday night...i was tired from work so i ended up not helping with the fund raising dinner's set up (bad!!!!).  we went to the dinner and had fun...we even won a couple of the raffle prizes.  it is very modest compared to st. thomas more's cioppino fund raising dinner but it's also a smaller school.  anyway, hopefully in the future it will grow to be a bigger event.


yesterday, we went to palo alto for angelina's birthday party.  michelle had a lot of fun and got to pet some pretty 'exotic' animals like a walking stick, a millipede, ferret,  blue tongued skink, a snake, a parakeet, a baby mouse, and a tarantula..oh wait, she didn't touch the tarantula but i did!  hahaha!  nakikibata ako!  i was of course exhausted.  i wore my patch during the party because i know that it will be a long day - you don't know what kind of toll bell's palsy can take on your body unless you've had it.  my dad was our chauffeur again for the day (love my dad!) while paul was at practicing at church.  

these two are always together

i am so glad to be finally off of steroids!  wooo hooo!  i think i gained 5 lbs in the last 10 days...so today i started to eat healthy again and hopefully i can lose 15 lbs before we head off to palm springs on june 1st (yeah, good luck with that, almira!).  has anyone been to palm springs?  i don't really know what there is to see out there.  i just wanted to go because i've never been + we have a timeshare property in palm desert.  we're only there from friday to sunday...i'm thinking of going for an easy hike on Saturday morning and the rest of the time will be spent by the pool (if it's not too hot).  i just want to relax.  i told paul that the summer will be ALL ABOUT CALIFORNIA for us.  we blew all of our vacation money on our trip to italy so we can't really afford to go anywhere else but california.  =D 

day 10, bell's palsy

today is a 'good' day.  there is no really change in the ear situation i mentioned yesterday and i'm not feeling too tired.  i still can't blink but i've been sleeping without the eye patch without drying my eyes out so i am guessing my left eye has been shutting close at least during at night. 

i noticed the last several days that  i have been eating like a glutton despite everything tasting terrible.  a quick google search of prednisone side effects and voila!  increased appetite.  well, thank you for letting me know!  tomorrow is my last day on meds and i  vow to cleanse my self from all the salty stuff i ate while taking steroids.   

women's ministry, field trip chaperone plus the usual

yesterday was an extremely busy day.  i worked from home and was feeling very sick...terrible headache and nausea.  michelle had ballet class, too.  i was thinking of having her skip it again but she's already missed the last two weeks so i told myself that i had to take her and then after ballet class we had our first real women's ministry gathering.  


i prayed for strength because i just felt physically awful.  terrible, terrible.  but God gave me the strength to go through with the day and it turned out to be a real blessing.  it was so nice to gather with my sisters in christ and share what the Lord has been teaching each of us and what we would like to see going forward with our women's ministry gatherings.  i know the Lord will direct us so that we can all share God's goodness with each other and everyone else we meet.


today is day 9 of bell's palsy.  it has felt longer than 9 days.  i really can't wait to get 100% better. again, the lopsidedness is not noticeable, the eye is still my main gripe and the pressure on my head....now the ear is starting to bother me.  increased sensitivity in my left ear - no ringing but it just seems like my  left ear is wide open, no filter.  we'll see how this new thing develops within the next few days.

i was a chaperone at michelle's field trip at the children's discovery museum in san jose today.  i couldn't really drive that long so my dad was our chauffeur for the day.  michelle wasn't partnered with anyone (that meant we didn't have to drive other kids to/from the fieldtrip) but she roamed around the museum with her bff, sydney, and gracie.  the girls had fun.  i...well, i was miserable the entire time we were there...i didn't want to wear my patch so i don't have to deal with all the questions from the kids and the adults.  i just had to suck it up and for the three hours we were at the museum, that's what i did.  sucking it up sucked, big time.  at least, i had a lot of help with the girls since sydney's dad was there, too, and gracie's mom is the other kindergarten teacher so each child had a parent with them.  after lunch, we all headed back to school so the kids can practice their presentation for the school's fund raising dinner tomorrow.  this week is so busy, i can't wait for it all to be over!

cheeeeeeeeese!

gracie, michelle, and sydney

bffs (best friends forever.  they even have a secret handshake)

about the museum...it was really fun for the kids but since we've been to the children's museum in portland, oregon, the one we went to today doesn't even compare.  bay area folks will have to make do with what we have here (but hopefully they can improve the one we have locally).  if you find yourself in portland, go here! 


now i'm resting.  i am back at work tomorrow plus there's the dinner in the evening where i also promised to volunteer setting up.  *sigh*  i am tired like you wouldn't believe.  the timing is all off.  oh well!  you gotta do what you gotta do.  


ok..time for steroids!!

planning...

i'm tired of talking about bell's palsy so let's take a break and talk about things going on in my head. like...


paul and i are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary in september.  i was thinking of multiple things to do:


option 1:  1 night getaway to Ritz Carlton Half Moon Bay - very expensive for just 1 night but i've been dying to stay here.  it's only 20 minutes away from our home but it seems like a world away.  add to the cost of the hotel room will be dinner, breakfast, and maybe massage at the spa.  hmmm...

option 2:  weekend in las vegas - i told paul recently that i wanted to go to vegas again with him like we did in 2007.  i looked at airfare and hotel for our anniversary and it is do-able, but more expensive than option 1.  driving will bring cost down significantly but also use up a lot of time.  

option 3:  weekend in beverly hills - i stayed at the beverly wilshire several years ago and loved it...paul has never been so it would be nice to do it for our anniversary.  the hotel is directly across the street from rodeo drive.  we can explore beverly hills and the los angeles area and soak up some warm california sunshine.  price of option 3 will be about the same as option 2.

i wonder what he'll enjoy the most?

bell's palsy, day 8

i had very little sleep again last night...the problem is if i wake up in the middle of the night for any reason, it is next to impossible to go back to sleep.  *sigh*

i noticed a mild ringing in my ear this morning and it's a little bit more sensitive.  there's pressure again on the left side of my head and i felt a little nauseous earlier, too.  no extra lopsidedness, though.  again, i'll take that as a good sign.  

i'm working from home today but i probably will be resting more today.  i can't wait to be at 100% again. 


updated 2:10 pm...i am feeling a terrible headache and getting nauseous again.  i have to wear the patch as much as possible...i noticed the pain and discomfort is worse when i do not wear it too much.  


i feel terrible that i am not able to spend quality time with michelle.  after i get home from work, all i want to do is stay in bed...she wants to play and do stuff together, but i just don't have the energy fo it.  =( haaaay!

day 7 of bell's palsy

7 days ago, i was diagnosed with bell's palsy - a condition of partial facial paralysis.  yesterday, day 6 was the toughest one for me.  i had not been able to sleep the night before because of my medication (prednisone, a corticosteroid).  i remember taking the medicine at around 330 pm but apparently, that was too late for me to take.  i hadn't slept a wink and had to go to work.  i was running on caffeine and another doze of prednisone but by 1 pm yesterday, the pressure on my face, eyes, and head was just too much.  i left work at around 2 pm, went home and stayed in bed except to eat so i can take another doze of meds which i did as soon as i got home.  2 pm is early enough to take it, i fell asleep last night and feeling ok today.

have you ever been really conscious about gravity?  it's another one of those things we tend to ignore except when you're riding a rollercoaster or falling off of something.  well, everyday since i had bell's palsy, gravity has been reminding me that it exists.  yes it does and don't i dare to forget about it!  it tugs on my face towards the ground and there's not much i can do about it but cope.

it's not all bad news though.  the sagging of my face has not really increased.  i am most comfortable ok when i have a patch over my eye and lying down but there are things that need to be done here at work and there really isn't anyone to fill in for me.  i told my boss that i will plow through my days but when it gets really tough for me, like it did yesterday, i'm going home.  she totally understands and i know that if we had more team members with us, she'd probably tell me to stay home and rest until i feel well enough to make it through the day.  oh well!  i also told her that on days she's not in the office, i'm going to work from home and mostly rest.  fine by her, too.  see!  there's so much to be thankful for.  you just always have to look at the bright side.  it does get better...my face not getting worse is a sign that it's getting better.  well, at least for me...that's how i'm taking it.

it's only 8 am.  i will update this post later in the afternoon.


it's 3:22 pm and i'm just about ready to head home (i work from 730 am to 330 pm).  today went by really well..just a slight pressure/discomfort on the left side of my head.  i felt really productive at work today an i took 2nd doze of prednizone about half an hour ago.  i hope i get to sleep tonight.  sleep is key.  i think i might have some energy to actually function at home today.  thank you Lord!

btw, i have also been taking my daily multivitamin and extra vitamin d.  i read that the B vitamins help reduce inflammation and vitamin d helps the immune system.  doesn't hurt to try it.  =D

tomorrow is the first 'major' gathering of the women's ministry.  i am praying that the Lord will give me the wisdom to help the women at our church and to really have the passion to reach out to others to let them know about God's love.  we are all called to follow Christ and make disciples.  God will equip us. 

day 6 of bell's palsy

ugh!  this is the hardest day yet.  i had no sleep last night.  none.  zilch.


i went to work running on caffeine and steroids.  i thought i would be able to make it through the day but by 1 pm, i was dying.  my head and my eye were throbbing.  i wanted to throw up.


i go home early, i eat a little so i can take more steroids and pray that i fall asleep before the steroid kicks in.  no luck there.  i am still wide awake.  hopefully i can fall asleep tonight.  

day 5 of bell's palsy

yesterday, i took a nap and went to sleep early.  i've been feeling really, really exhausted.  i think my body is telling the bell's palsy, 'we're not going to rest until we beat you!'  the steroids that i'm taking is supposed to keep me up so when i take it in the afternoon, i take it early enough so as not to interfere with my sleep.  i take my first doze with breakfast, and the afternoon doze at around 4 pm with a light snack.  so by 10 pm...i ready for bed.  actually last night, i think at around 730 pm, i was out...not knocked out but i just wanted to lie down and close my eyes.  i am thankful that my husband has been taking good care of me and filling in for me with the things that michelle needs.  


we went to church today and everyone was supportive and told me that if i'm not wearing my eye patch, they wouldn't be able to tell that i have bell's palsy...i agree with them.  it's day 5 and i don't think it's gotten worse from day 3.  i think my taste is starting to come back because i drank coffee this morning and it actually tasted more like coffee and less like batteries.  i am also able to drink more water now which i totally missed!  i love drinking water.  


anyway, at church today, pastor andrev, our guest pastor spoke about caleb and joshua and the ten other spies that were sent to check out canaan....if you haven't read this story, look it up in the book of numbers. long story short, let us not be limited by the hindrance we see before us.  let us not focus on the things that could set us back.  God wants his people to just say yes and not question what He has called us to do.  so i prayed to the Lord this morning, 'Lord, whatever it is that you have called me to do, i know you will equip me.  let me see myself the way you see me.  i can do all things because you strengthen me!'  hallelujah!  i feel so good inside, really.  i thank the Lord for giving me the joy.  if i leave it up to me and my emotions, i would be a pathetic mess every day.  =)  


paul took michelle to her classmate's birthday party in san mateo today.  i was supposed to go but i'm just really exhausted and i've already answered enough questions about bell's palsy and i know i will be inundated with more questions if i go to the party.  i decided to just lie down and let paul answer the questions.  by now he's as well versed in it as i am.  


i got a wonderful text message from my mother in law, too.  i'm not asking for a pity party that's why i'm not blasting it out on facebook where there will be a gazillion comments if i mention this...i write about this in my blog mostly for me and hopefully to help others out there if they happen to stumble upon my blog...but i'm feeling the love from all around me.  =D  i pray that no matter the season in our lives, we feel the love of our family, friends, and our God.  God loves you.  if you don't know that yet, it's about time someone told you.  =)

day 5, mirror image. no make up (so vain!), really controlled smile.  not bad right?

it's another sunshiny day!

it's another beautiful day in the bay area!  i love days like this when you don't need to wear a sweater during the day.  we always take advantage of rare days like this and celebrate with a bbq.  we grilled some liempo, hotdogs, and asparagus in the backyard for dinner.  michelle couldn't wait and has been asking, 'when are we going to start our bbq???' this girl loves to bbq.  =)

anyway, it's day 4 of bell's palsy.  i don't think it's gotten worse from yesterday.  everything seems the same...i'll take that over getting worse.  i feel tired though.  i took another nap today...maybe because i just want to keep my eyes closed.  


i'm feeling the love from family and friends who are aware of my condition and continue to thank them and the Lord for being so good to me.  =D  i am blessed and i know it!

bell's palsy day 3

day 3.  the left side of my face is drooping more and i think my taste buds are really out of whack today.  i have not felt the hyper-sensitive hearing yet...

i felt miserable last night and broke down and cried like a baby.  oh well!  there will be days like such but i hope that doesn't happen too often.  claire called while i was in the middle of tears...i think she felt sorry for me that she and her husband, jacob came over last night to check up on me.  jacob's a physical therapist and so i asked him for tips to strengthen my facial muscles.

i think i've found a sweet spot to put the tissue and patch to keep my eye closed.  my main gripe today is the taste bud thing.  everything, and i mean everything, tastes terrible!  but i still gotta eat because i need to take meds. *sigh* oh well!

i spoke with chel earlier today.  it was good to hear her voice.  she said she's been busy in the philippines but over all it's been a great trip.  they're going to burma and thailand next week.

the weather is gorgeous!  michelle took this rare opportunity to play with the water sprinkler in the backyard.  while she played, i planted some carrots, beets, cucumber and green beans.  i really hope they grow.  i have sage, thyme, rosemary and green onions that are thriving right now.  my jalapeno doesn't seem to like the weather here though. it bears fruit, but really tiny fruit and the leave always dry up and fall off.  i'm going to buy strawberry plants next week and maybe another apple tree since i read that you always have to plant two trees so they can cross pollinate...i did not know that.  i want to get some blueberry shrubs too because i just love blueberries.  maybe we'll do that next week too.

i'm really trying my best to keep my mind off of this condition and go about my day.  it's hard but you just gotta keep going.  i am so blessed to have my family and a wonderful set of friends who are always there for me for support.  God is great!  =D

bell's palsy: day 2

i took a 2.5 hour nap yesterday after i got home.  i have been wearing my eye patch consistently...taking a break from it only when my daughter insists on wearing the patch herself. 

taken using my phone's front facing camera so this is a mirror image.
i know it doesn't look too bad but if i smile any bigger, it becomes obvious
how lopsided my face is. 

the thing that bothers me the most is the eye not being able to blink or shut completely.  it is so uncomfortable.  i woke up this morning and my eye isn't as red as it was yesterday.  going to bed with the patch really helped.  my eye gets more watery so much more today than yesterday.  driving is difficult because i can't wear my patch when i'm driving and yet i can't blink my left eye so it starts to blur and get watery.  oh well!  i'm driving more cautiously and will probably not drive beginning tomorrow and hope the eye things improves by monday.  i don't want to take BART to work!

my taste buds are out of whack...everything tastes terrible!

you will hear me complain a lot as i document this journey but please don't forget that i am extremely thankful that i didn't have  a stroke or something worse than bell's palsy. 

it's so weird to have this condition after i learned about it several months ago.  i spoke with someone from our church who had bell's palsy last year.  i didn't even know she had it!  she said it gets better after a month...a little longer than i had hoped but what can we do?  there are some things in life we can't control and this is one of them for me. 

i try not to take it too seriously.  last night, lai was making fun of me and the funny way i say letter "P".  she asked me, 'what's the name of kate middleton's sister again?'  imagine popeye the sailor man's lips when he speaks...yup, that's what i look like. 

i'm popeye the sailor man!

on a temporary pirate gig

last night i had drinks with two of my best girl friends, lai and claire at celia's mexican restaurant.  when i took the first sip from my margarita, i told them, 'hmmm, my tongue feels funny.' they, like me, just shrugged it off and we proceeded with our chatter about life, love, and the draw something game that we were all playing!  after a couple of margaritas, it was time to head home.  


this morning, i woke up with my left eye bright red, not pink eye, but blood shot.  because i have chronic dry eyes, i said to myself, 'gotta use them eye drops more often!' during breakfast, i noticed that my coffee tasted funny and so did the water.  it had that iron-y, metallic taste (lasang kalawang, sa madaling salita!).  again i ignored it.  in the shower, i could taste the water, too, and i thought to myself, 'could our water be contaminated?  this is weird.'  


since paul and i woke up late, i had no time to put on my make up at home.  so in the car, at a stop light, i pulled out my lipstick and started to apply it on my lips.  i puckered my lips and noticed that my lips were lopsided.  i took off my aligners (invisalign) and puckered again.  still lopsided!  'did i have a mild stroke that i did not know about???'  i immediately called paul and started freaking out! 'beb!  there's something wrong with my face.  my lips are lopsided...i just noticed it now...'  there's nothing that freaks out a husband more than a freaking out wife!  when i got to the office, i immediately told my boss what i was feeling and scheduled a doctor's appointment for 940 in the morning and got it checked.


i told the doctor what i felt, what i saw, and when it started.  she started nodding her head...i did not see a look of panic in her face so i said to myself, 'ok maybe this is not as serious as i thought. thank God!' after a series of minor tests and exercises she said, 'what you have is bell's palsy.  have you heard of it?'


i told her yes, i know about it and have read about it in the past.  she put me on prescription steroids for the next 10 days.  i had the image of the totally ripped arnold schwarzanegger flash before my eyes when i heard steroids.  and as if she read my thoughts, the doctor said, 'there shouldn't be any major side effects with the medication since it will be a low dose.'  the doctor assured me that i will make a full recovery but it could take any where from a couple of weeks up to 3 months before i feel the rest of my face again.   the left side of my face is affected...it's hard to eat and everything tastes weird!  when i drink water, sometimes it dribbles down my chin.  thank the Lord i'm not drooling!  i can hardly shut my left eye, thus, i was advised to wear a patch over it (day and night) so my eye doesn't dry out like it did last night so when i went to walgreens to pick up my prescription, i bought an eye patch, too. so i will be on a temporary pirate assignment until this all goes away.  lai looked up my pirate name today and said i shall be called Pirate Uma the Staggering Drunk.  


But when i got home, guess who insisted on wearing the patch?

arrrr you rrrrrrrready?

in case of an earthquake...

we live in northern california, just a couple of miles east of the san andreas fault - there is a highway that runs along the fault and it's kinda freaky knowing that you're driving just inches away from one of the most active faults in the world.  until the massive earthquake and tsunami in japan last year, i haven't really given earthquakes much thought.  if you've always lived in the pacific ring of fire as i have, earthquakes become part of normal life.  BUT that earthquake worried me enough that i started taking action.  we have an emergency container in each bedroom + the garage at home filled with emergency food, water, medicines, bandages, etc.  just a couple of days ago, we finally (after many years of me just thinking about it) got an earthquake shut off valve for the natural gas line that runs to our house. 

the 1906 earthquake and the loma prieta earthquake in 1989 did a lot of structural damage to buildings in the bay area but the most damage came from fires that sparked from leaking natural gas lines that run into the buildings.  now, i feel a little bit more prepared if an earthquake strikes.  

The Great San Francisco Earthquake and Fire of 1906 

Loma Prieta Earthquake of 1989

next on our to do list, earthquake/emergency drill at home.

 

lent

i thought about giving something up for lent....and then i wasn't able to do it (fail!). but the Lord reminded me that He already paid the price to save me from my sins.  what he actually asks from me is not to give up something...because that would mean i am still holding on to other things.  he wants me to give my life to him, to follow him and to  be obedient to him.  he doesn't want me to just believe that he is the son of God because believing simply isn't enough.  he wants us to follow him, to be his disciple.  to be a follower of christ is to live life that is dedicated to God, to live a Christ-centered life.  


i know it sounds easier said than done, but the thing is, he never asked us to be perfect. i think a misconception people have about christians is we think we are holier than thou...i think there are people in general, who think they are 'better' than other people.  doesn't matter if you're a christian or whatever belief you have.  but that is not the way God wants us to think about ourselves, or other people.  God tells us to love others, as we love ourselves.  so if i think highly of myself, then i should think highly of others too.  if you love yourself (and you should!), then you should give the same kind of love to others despite of who they are.  god loved me despite of who i am, despite of my imperfections.  


again, Christ doesn't ask us to be perfect.  i can't count the number of times i've failed and felt like i disappointed the Lord because of my stubbornness and lack of faith.  but despite all of my shortcomings, he does not fall short.  his love for me is the same kind of love when i am following him...it's also the same love when i sometimes go astray.  his love is constant.  his love is consistent.  his love does not depend on his mood or my mood.  can you imagine if God was moody and only loved us when he is not pms-ing?  hahaha!  Thank goodness, God is not like that!  


so this lent, instead of giving something up...what i ought to have done is surrender my life to him...and not just at lent, but everyday of my life should be surrendered and dedicated to him.  sometimes i forget that i am here to be the salt and light of the earth, and that i am here to live my life for God.  holy week is a great time to reflect on how our relationship with the Lord stands.  is my relationship with Him where i want it to be at this point in my spiritual life?  the answer, unfortunately, is no.  but God is great!  it is never to late to either start a personal relationship with him or to rekindle that relationship you had with him.  i have changed over the many years and my faith has seen peaks and valleys.  but the Lord has met me at whatever stage i was.  when i was at my lowest moment, He was there.  when i was at my highest, He was there.  all i had to do was to call unto Him.  he met me whenever i needed him.  i continue to be amazed by his love for me.


Lord, thank you for the sacrifice you made on the cross 2,000 years ago.  remind me everyday of your love for me.  you are wonderful.  you are amazing.  i humble myself before you and ask for your forgiveness for ALL of my sins.  you are the Lord and Savior of my life.  teach me your ways that i may continue to follow you.  thank you for your love.  amen.

Florence

so after Venice, we took the train again for a 2.5 hour ride to Florence.


when we were still in the planning stages of our trip, michelle was telling me she wants to see the leaning tower of pizza.  yes, she said pizza.  and no matter how many times i corrected her, she still insists on calling it pizza.  anyway, i had to turn her down because i've been to the leaning tower of pisa and there's not much else to see.  we'll visit pisa another time.  since this is my 3rd trip to italy, i had to squeeze in a city that i have not been before, and i picked florence.  


when we got to florence, we checked in to our hotel...which was in a very ideal location (walking distance from the duomo) but it was just an odd hotel.  it wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either...so, i will not mention the name.  =D

after we checked in, we walked to the duomo and all over florence to take pictures.  with kids in tow, we knew we were not going to be able to visit the museums so we decided to just visit the Accademia the following day.  this was the only musuem we would visit this trip.  


my feet were already killing me by the time we got to florence.  we walked and walked and walked hanggang sa mag mura na ang kalyo ko sa paa!  it was worth it though.  


florence is known for it's leather goods.  most of the italian designers get their leather from florence.  paul bought a leather jacket from peruzzi and looked really good and the price was pretty good, too. 


another bit of trivia we learned is that the author of the original pinnocchio, carlo collodi, is from florence.  michelle got a pinnocchio marionette as her souvenir for this city.  


the highlight for me was seeing the statue of David by Michaelangelo and seeing it for free!  it was international women's day when we were at the accademia and women and children 5 and under got in for free.  paul paid 6 euro to get it.  pretty sweet deal!  i remember reading about this statue when i was about 9 years old and to see it in person was a real treat.  it is the most beautiful piece of sculpture i have ever seen.  the first thing i said when i saw the statue was, 'wow! it's so beautiful!  God gave michaelangelo such an amazing talent!  amazing!