why?

i am at a loss for words and can't wrap my head around what happened today in newtown, connecticut.  =(

hug your family close and always remind them how much you love them.

michelle-isms

I just found out yesterday about a conversation Michelle had with a family friend from san diego last week: 'why are you in san francisco? Are you looking for a job? Maybe you can work at Tselogs Tapasor at Oneway Mission? My ninang Chel Gilla is not here, but when she comes back, I can tell her and maybe you can work at our restaurants.' Yup. She said that. Lol


here's one more:

most clementine oranges are seedless, right? so when michelle ate one today that had seeds, she said, " mommy, this isn't seedless, it's seed-with!"

BAAAAAD LOGO!

i am proud to be a University of California - Davis alumnus.  the UC system is one of the most successful (if not the most successful) public university system in the whole world.  so when i heard on the news on sunday that there was a new logo going around, i was curious....and then i was shocked....and then i was appalled!

i've read countless comments on the web about how terrible the new logo looks.  some say it looks like a loading gif (as stated in the photo), some say it looks like a blue tongue, a toilet flushing, one even thinks it looks like placid penis (lol on this one!).  

no matter how they interpret this new image, one thing is for sure - there is an overwhelming disapproval on the use of this logo.  one comment i read was that she/he was part of the focus group that reviewed the logo. the group consisted of alumni, marketing folks, etc.  a majority of them disapproved the logo for many different reasons, but the UCOP (UC Office of the President) decided they liked it and didn't care what the focus group had to say.  

it looks awful.

i shake my head each time i see it.  

my two disappointments this week:  AT&T and this new UC Logo.

don't wait for my full length post on AT&T.  i'm not going to write the whole story on here just yet.  maybe in a couple of months.  

terrible experience with AT&T

i've been in business for about 2 months now and in the last two months, i have called AT&T customer service at least 7 times, spent about a total of 2 hours on the phone with them.  i placed a call with them earlier this morning and i was SOOOOO FREAKIN' MAD that i was crying to the customer service agent! ganon ako ka frustrated!!!

as a result, i will not be transfering my cellular service to AT&T and will go with Verizon instead.  i don't care about the discount paul will be getting from AT&T.  i can't deal with that kind of inept service anymore.  if i could only move my business phone and internet service elsewhere, i would.  but unfortunately, i am tied to a contract for 2 years.  

on manny pacquiao's loss

we did not buy ppv for manny's fight on saturday.  i was very disappointed from the last fight which pacquiao clearly won against bradley.  after that i told myself that i will not pay $70 to be made a fool again.

so last saturday, my husband found streaming video of the fight.  we watched.  

juan miguel marquez has always been manny's toughest opponent.  they are very evenly matched and i think they are two of the best boxers in recent history.  each of their fights could go either way.  not one person had the clear advantage.  this fourth bout was not different until that last punch that marquez threw against manny - it was all over after that.

needless to say, i'm sure you've seen it all over the news, on facebook, and twitter - manny pacquiao lost in a knock out.  manny was out.  it was scary.  

after the fight i tried my best to not read the tweets, facebook posts or the news but it was inescapable.  i knew i was going to read comments that are ignorant, sarcastic, idiotic, and just plain mean.  

there are several thousands, including manny's mom, that blame the loss to manny's new found faith which is completely ignorant and idiotic.  not often do i use such harsh words here in my blog.  they are not a regular part of my vocabulary either.  manny's faith has nothing to do with his loss.  manny was up against a great fighter, there is no doubt about that.

it's really easily to blame his faith.  2012 has been a tough year for manny's boxing career. but manny's life isn't just boxing alone.  sure, it's his bread and butter.  but compare the state of his life from previous years - the gambling, the women, the often rocky marriage with his wife...his life was in shambles while his boxing career flourished.  now, the tables have turned.  he lost 1 match this year ( i still refuse to believe that he lost the fight to bradley so that doesn't count), but the state of his personal life couldn't be better.  i don't know anyone who would pick success over their family and whoever does will regret it years later.  manny's life isn't just boxing.  that is not the center of his life.  

why does a nation put their hopes on one man?  he is a boxer, not anyone's savior.  i am amazed at manny's humility in his defeat and his positive outlook for his life and career. i pray that despite this setback, that he continues to develop his relationship with the Lord and that he will remain unwavering in his faith.  he has been blessed tremendously in many aspects of his life.  there is nothing he can complain about.  he is blessed.  

i wish he would stop boxing.  he's got nothing else to prove because he has a sure seat in the boxing hall of fame.  his record will stand for a long time.  but i don't think this is is last fight and we'll see him back in the ring again soon.  

nothing can make me blog except

the excitement of a potential vacation!

i've had vienna, austria in my mind for the last couple of days.  ever since i saw an old episode of Rick Steves' Europe while we were still living in the Philippines, I have dreamed of spending the holidays in Vienna.  I saw a new episode of Rick Steves' in Austria a week ago and i just can't stop thinking about it.  i told myself that someday (soon), we will go.  and so after consulting my husband, we MAY go Christmas of 2014.  two years away but hey, it's never too soon to plan, right?

i will need to brush up on my Deutsche.  i took two quarters of german in college and have retained very little (if any at all).  i want to see go walk in the night markets and buy loads of christmas ornaments.  i want to see the palaces and listen to the opera...haaaay!  dreaming is for free so why not dream big dreams, right?  we have family in italy who said they may join us in vienna if we ever go.  i have very close friends in germany also who said they'll make the trip to vienna.  that should be fun!!  ay so excited na ako kahit na two years away pa at mega ipon ang kailangang gawin!

but before that, we gots to save money and try to spend christmas in the philippines first.  i would love for my daughter to see how her dad and i celebrated christmas when we were kids.  that is going to be a really pricey trip, too.  now that i am in the travel industry, i know how much airfares to the philippines cost and it is crazy expensive!  so before my dream trip to vienna....it's christmas in the philippines first for 2013 so we can also be with our family and friends over there.  =D

i have some time in my hands

it's saturday and i'm here at the travel office, it's a little quiet so i have time to write a few things.

it has been almost a month since we acquired the travel business.  i have not left my other job since i am training my replacement.  i don't know when my stint there will end.  i have mixed feelings about leaving that company.  it has been very good to me and i have the highest respect for my boss.  but, this is where the road has lead me and i am thankful for the opportunity to be a business owner.

busy is an understatement.  paul has gently reminded me that we started the business with the intent of spending more time with michelle.  the last month, i have spent far less time with her than we initially planned. that will change in about a week (i hope).  

my parents are also on vacation in the philippines....which has added a level of stress for me since we get a lot of help from them with michelle and things around the house. yes, i am spoiled by my parents.  they are the best.  they felt bad they had to travel when i was going through this transition...ganon sila kabait.  according to my best friend who is also in the philippines on 'vacation', my mom was crying because she felt bad for michelle since michelle always complained on skype how bored she was and how much she misses them.  

michelle's an awesome kid.  she's a really well rounded, very positive and very understanding child.  i sometimes i want to give her all that she wants from us, but then i remind myself, she's become this awesome kid because of the rules we've created and how we follow them.  if let go of all those rules now, things will definitely change.  Thank you, Lord, for the wisdom and guidance in raising our child.  

anyway, it's almost time to go.  hopefully, the next several weeks will be busy (business-wise) but not overwhelming.  =D  Lord you are good!

beyond busy

i am beyond busy.

i have one more week at my 'old' job and then i'll be be working 100% at our new business venture.  =)  i truly can't wait!

michelle has been incredibly understanding during this whole process.  she understands that mommy is working multiple jobs at the moment and unable to spend as much time with her.  i will make it up to her though after another week.   thank you, Lord!  =D

rain boots

i want!!!!

michelle's birthday weekend

michelle just turned 6.  wow!  how quickly does time fly!

celebration #1:

on saturday, we celebrated her birthday at pump it up in belmont (it's $40 cheaper than the SF location!).  there were about 20 kids who came and about 30 adults - all of whom, i think, had a great time at the party.

i was very impressed by the staff at PIU Belmont.  they handled everything very well and were very helpful.  i didn't have to stress about anything.  i just walked around and made sure everyone was having a good time.  if you're ever thinking of hosting an event, i would recommend pump it up in belmont.

celebration #2:

sunday was the tanza association of northern california's celebration of st. augustine's feast day.  on this day, our relatives head to san jose for a picnic and spend time with former neighbors/friends from tanza.  since we're going to be with relatives, it becomes a birthday celebration for michelle, too.  for the last 3 years, we always did a pinata but decided to skip the pinata this year to cut cost.

michelle spent the whole day, under 90 degree weather, running around the park, riding her bike and her plasma car with her cousins.  she was exhausted by the time she got in the car.

celebration #3:

a bunch of our friends invited us to join them at great america on monday.  i wanted to recover from saturday and sunday's activities so we declined their invitation.  we told michelle we'll stay home and do whatever she likes.

we grilled burgers and hotdogs in the backyard, watched high school musical and we painted our nails (daddy didn't).  we cuddled and laughed and i savored every moment with my 6 year old daughter.

the big LEAP

THIS IS REALLY IS IT!

i'm quitting my job and doing something on my own.  wow!  i never really thought i would have the courage to do this but God really gives us His grace that we may have the boldness to do bigger and better things.

in my head, i've always thought that the month of July would be some sort of turning point in my life this year.  i thought maybe, the opportunity God showed me in March would come to pass in July...but that hasn't happened yet (all in God's perfect time!).  sometime in June, my best friend told me of a travel business that was on the market.  the current owner wanted to retire and split her time between the philippines and the states.  about a year and half ago, i had planned on opening a travel business part-time, but i realized that i couldn't do it part-time.  i already had a full time job, a part time baking gig, a family, and volunteer time at church.  i had to give one of these things up if i wanted to pursue the travel business.  so when this opportunity came up and after praying and fasting (seeking the Lord), and consulting my husband, trusted friends, family, and pastors, i came to the decision to give up my job and own the travel business.  i gave my offer to the owners in july and in the same month, they accepted.  july was indeed a turning point!

hoooray!!!!  =D

i am giddy with excitement!  i am nervous and yet i trust that the Lord will see me through this.  i firmly believe that God appointed this time for me to do this very thing.  it's not easy to give up my job.  it pays very well and very rarely do i get stressed or seldom do i have to work overtime.  my boss has given me the flexibility of working from home a few days a week, too. if i stayed with the firm, i would be set.  but there comes a point when the monetary incentives are not enough.  there's an emptiness in me and in some sense, a frustration, that i just couldn't shake.  

farmers who wait for perfect weather, never plant.  if they watch the clouds, they never harvest.  this verse from ecclesiastes that spoke to my heart.  i've always been cautious...my pastor said, 'that's not just caution, that's fear.'  God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound mind (2 timothy 1:7).  i just realized that it has been 10 years now since i accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and developed a personal relationship with him.  it's high time i raise my level of faith and step out of my comfort zone.  

we signed the documents last saturday and expect full transfer of ownership no later than oct. 15th.  i am still in awe of what the Lord has done- how he lined everything up for me.  when i prayed and fasted, i told the Lord, 'Lord, the price we are paying for the business is not an astronomical amount but it's no chump change.  it's not easy to let this amount go.'  and the Lord replied, 'then don't look at it as if you're buying something.  look at it as your offering to me, because it is.'  and after that, it's not hard to see that money go anymore.  this business is an offering to God.  may He use it and use me for His glory and let His will continue to be done.

we will encounter cross roads many times in our lives.  we tend to choose the easy way and become complacent.  but sometimes, God calls us to take the road less traveled and journey with him so that we may get to know him more and realize what he can do in our lives if we let him take the driver's seat.  you wont know to trust him until you get to know him.  he has built up my faith for the last 10 years to prepare me for this moment.  His timing is always perfect.  His plans are never flawed.

i'm back

one month na pala akong hindi nagboblog!

ok...i'll try to right tomorrow.  for now, i'm 'window shopping' online...is that the right term when you're just browsing online stores?

tithes = tights?

Me: Michelle, you gotta give your TITHES at church today. You forgot to do it last week.


Michelle: Mommy! But what will I wear if I give away my TIGHTS??!!

a new batch of michelle-isms

my dear daughter is almost 6 years old.  she still cracks us up sometimes with her funny words but lately, she has been asking us some difficult questions...here are some of the things she has asked lately:


'Mommy, what happens to the earth when the world ends?'


'Mommy, why are there other planets and not just the earth? what are the other planets there for?'


'Mommy, what's a hypothesis?' 




did you notice her questions are mostly scientific?  hmmmm i wonder what she'll be when she grows up.  =)

middle-of-summer purse?

shhh!  don't tell my husband i got this.  inexpensive naman sya...na cute-an ako e!!!  

reward

lose 15 pounds and i will buy this:

rolling off the bed

yes, i roll off the bed...that is how i am able to get up from bed.


every part of my body hurts.  i sit down, my thighs burn.  i cough, my abs hurt.  i yawn and stretch, my arms hurt.


no pain, no gain, right?


we shall see!

adorable

we missed picture day for michelle's dance recital while we were in palm springs so i decided to have pro pictures taken before the show.  our friends have dabbled into photography and took these amazing pictures of her.

i know i'm the mom but doesn't she look adorable?  =D

birthday present

for my birthday 3 weeks ago, i asked paul for this birthday present:

Sally Raffia and Leather-Trim Logo Wedge Pumps

Enlivened by contrasting leather trim and a designer emblem, woven raffia adds a touch of texture to this classic wedge

.

• Stacked wooden wedge, 2½" (65mm)
• Raffia and leather upper
• Leather lining
• Rubber sole
• Padded insole

i didn't order it right away because we were going to palm springs and there was a tory burch outlet over there.  i was hoping to find a pair of shoes that i liked for a cheaper price but there wasn't a lot to choose from.  i ordered this last week and it arrived yesterday in beautifully wrapped package!

They are very comfortable and cute!  the perfect summer shoe!  

shhhh! i joined a gym (again!)

yup, i gave in.  i joined a gym once more.  i have been exercising here at home using our elliptical but i find myself bored with it sometimes....plus, i feel like i really need some 'me' time every now and then. 


i consulted my husband prior to acquiring the additional monthly expense and you know what his response is?  'go ahead beb (babe).  i am fully supportive.'  o di ba?  atat talaga na pumayat ako! hehehe


anyway, i went to crunch fitness yesterday and got a gym membership.  i told the manager that i wasn't so much interested in the gym equipment but i was more interested in the group classes like step, yoga, kickboxing, etc.  crunch is known for their group classes.  i had a vhs tape of two of their classes and it was so much fun to do.  crunch also has a children's area where i can bring michelle with me to the gym for a nominal fee.  i made the mistake of mentioning this to michelle and now she wants to come with me.  i told myself i will only use the children's thing if i absolutely have no one to watch michelle while i go to the gym.  knowing michelle, when she gets bored, she's going to have someone page me so i can take her back.  

there is a women's only sauna, which i will try.  i don't like being in a small hot room but i've read about it's health benefits so i will see how long i can stay in there.  


i also registered at myfitnesspal.com so i can count my calories and track my progress...did you notice the gadget on the right hand side of my screen?  that's called accountability!  haha!  so far i have lost 2 lbs from exercising and watching what i eat but i have a looooooooooong way to go.

would you like some whine with that cab?

it has been a long day.  i worked out when i got home after realizing that i was home alone (i was for about 10 minutes), did some math stuff with michelle and baked pies.  now i'm enjoying a glass of cabernet as i wait for the last 8 minutes before my house is fully engulfed by the smell of buko pie.  


while waiting, i thought about how little time i have for michelle during the work week.  feelings of guilt started to creep in again... and i thought of all the people who ask me, 'so when are you going to have another baby?'  those of you who know me already know the answer and it's reinforced by days like today (and there are a lot of days like today) when i am racked with guilt for not having enough hours to spend with my michelle and not enough hours of 'me time' so i don't turn to a bitch.  


i am tired.  the wine is making me sleepy.  can i have 24 hours all to myself?  just me, preferably at a spa and a glass of champagne.  


michelle just came up to me and said, 'i'm bored.'  and i put motherhood's apron back on again.  

robbed

I just have to say a few more things about the fight on Saturday night…if you are a friend of mine on facebook or follow me on twitter, you would have already read some of the things I said.

 

It started like any other manny pacquiao fight for us.  we hosted again at our home and there was enough food to feed a small village.  I did my pre-party work and cleared the small toys out of michelle’s room because it always looks like a tornado swirled past it after she and her cousins are done playing.  Michelle was feeling a little bit under the weather that day and spent most of the fight in bed and insisted I stay in bed with her.  So I was playing mom that night and paul was playing host to about 20 of our relatives. 

 

As the fight was going on, I was telling michelle how pacquiao’s opponent no longer has the energy to punch pacman back.  Manny was taking the first two minutes of each round easy, then aggressively pursuing his opponent on the last minute and a half of the rounds.  It was a lopsided fight.  And Manny Pacquiao won that fight.  Judges would say that it takes skill and training to accurately judge a fight…well, I’m telling you, that fight was so lopsided, even an untrained spectator like me knows who won.  You would have to be blind and deaf to give that fight to Bradley. 

 

Urgh!!!!  I am so disappointed!  Of course I never want to see Manny lose.  I don’t want him to win because of faulty judging either.  And i hated seeing him lose a fight that he won from start to end.  He was robbed.  Plain and simple. 

what good is a championship belt when only a handful believe you earned it?  a strong chin does not a champion make.  

 

I didn’t see his last fight with marquez which a lot of people say could have easily gone to marquez.  My dad even thinks that Marquez won that one.  I was told that was a close fight.  Really close.  If Marquez won that fight, the whole world wouldn’t be in an uproar.  It was an even match- any one of them could have taken that win.

 

But the fight from Saturday was just crazy!  I felt so disappointed, so dismayed.  I felt like someone ripped me off!  and we were all ripped off! I am no longer paying to watch manny’s fights not because of manny but because i have lost all confidence in the sport…I am boycotting any planned rematch between the two because it should not take place!  There should be no rematch because MANNY PACQUIAO WON THAT FIGHT!  And forget about the fight between manny and Floyd.  All the more I will not contribute to put money in mayweather’s pocket!

aaah, summer!

my dear, sweet michelle graduated from kindergarten on may 30th.  how quickly did time fly by?  i can still remember her first day at school and how excited she was.  she began the school year knowing very little, now, she can read, writes in cursive, and does addition and subtraction pretty well (better than i think i did when i was her age, math was never my strength).  =D  she has grown so much in 10 months and she can't wait to start first grade.

but first things first!  she has to enjoy summer vacation!  so we spent her first official day of summer vacation in palm springs...in 120F weather...we've never felt that kind of heat.  it really stings your skin the moment you step out of the car or an airconditioned room.  we waited until about 7 pm before we headed to the pool for a quick swim.  it did cool down  to about 102F on the 2nd and 3rd day.  


we stayed at the marriott shadow ridge...it's a timeshare property.  we are new 'owners' at marriott and it was our first time using our points for our trip.  when we arrived at the resort, i said to myself, 'this is why we bought this thing.'  it was nice.  marriott properties are always nice.  

this is the view from our balcony, 2 of 6 pools at the resort at dusk

fountain play area and a sandy pool for kids

the next day, we went swimming again in the morning and in the afternoon, when it got too hot, we went to the palm springs aerial tram to go up to mt. san jacinto where it was 30 degrees cooler and offers a spectacular view of the valley below.  the trip up the mountain was pretty scary if you're afraid of heights...which i am!  =D  but it wasn't too bad.  buhay pa naman ako! hehehe  so from below sea level up to 8,516 feet, we climbed.  well, the tram did the climbing.  the floor of the tram rotated so everyone had a 360 degree view on the way up.  

before heading up

don't look down!!!

at the peak.  my friend's daughter, ana, joined us for this trip. she's like a niece to me

the view from the top

when we got to the peak, paul wanted to hike.  me, not so much, so guess who won?  =D  my parents, by the way, were lured by the nearby casino and didn't bother to join us to the tram.  it was a good call.  they wouldn't really enjoy it.  my parents are...well, they're very, very weird travelers. =D  i guess, because they're really not travelers.  they don't seek new experiences that come with traveling.  they just go because paul, michelle and i were going.  they would be perfectly happy if they spent the weekend at home.  they go because i tell them they have to go and see different places.  

my lovely parents

it was a short but enjoyable trip.  we're looking forward to going back again someday.  =D

drying up after a swim.  doesn't take that long in 100 degree weather! =D

my little graduate

hmmp!

i'm upset! 


jessica sanchez didn't win american idol!  =(


hahaha!


even if she wasn't half filipino (she's half filipino, half mexican, 100% american), i think she is the best singer from the group, not perfect, but the best out of all the contestants.  i voted for her, but apparently, the support she got was no match to teenage girls who have nothing to do but vote for the cute, white boy with his guitar.  


i think philip phillips has got great talent.  is he the best singer on idol?  not even close...but then again, i have to remind myself that idol really isn't a singing contest but a popularity contest.  


so as not to be dubbed a sore loser....Philip, congratulations!  I pray for your health (I heard another surgery is to come) and a great career ahead of you. 


and that is without bitterness.  the kid worked hard..maybe even harder than the other kids especially given his health.  


what got me upset was some of the facebook posts i saw from people i know...one comment that irked me so much said (referring to be being filipino in america)..."Not surprised. A second-class citizen will always remain second. Still proud of my kabayan. Hehe"  what second class citizen????  Jessica's not a second class citizen?  Jessica's as american as philip...her opportunity here in the land where she was born is just the same as mine, just the same as Philips. Whaaa?  


i was so mad!!!  i don't consider myself a second class citizen.  i would be livid if anyone ever called my daughter a second class citizen because of her ethnicity...i came so close to sending that person a private message and let him know that his comment makes him look ignorant (and this person is proud of his smarts!).  i had to keep my cool and tell myself that everyone's entitled to their own opinion.  i think the comment was wrong but what does that person know?  the person doesn't live here so he doesn't know what life here is like and the freedoms and opportunities this country provides for its people.  it's not a perfect place but i think it's better than many other places i've seen.  

i need to

i need to go back to school.  if i want to accomplish what i've told myself i want to accomplish, i should start now.  it will take me 4 years to finish if i go to school part time.  i will be in my mid 30s by then.  while that's not old, if i keep delaying this and putting it off, i might be 40 by the time i complete this.  i need to focus and strategize and make this work if this is what i want. 

oh Lord, please guide me and give me clarity.  if this is your will for me, let your will be done and i will obey. 

5 servings of fruits and vegetables

because i've been sick several times in the last couple of months, i started to really change what i eat and add more fruits and vegetables to my diet.  i noticed that when you eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day, there's not a lot of room to eat much of anything else...and that's a good thing especially for me who has been trying (unsuccessfully) for the last 3 years to lose weight.  i think this time though, it's not just because of vanity that i am trying to lose weight.  my body has begun to protest all of the crap that i've been feeding it and it's about time i pay attention.  

i have lost 3 lbs since then and i've been squeezing in some excercise (still not as much as i should, but it's a start).  i hope to undo ALL of my bad habits pretty soon. 

*bell's palsy update:  i can blink normally....i have regained almost all control of my facial muscles.  i think by next week, i'll be at 100%.  praise God!  

the avengers

i love watching super hero movies.  they are very entertaining and most of the time (with the exception of the first hulk movie) the story lines are very well written.  


i have been looking forward to watching the avengers after i saw thor and captain america on dvd recently.  today, we went to intel's private screening of the avengers at the amc 20 in santa clara.  there was a pre-party before our movie played at 10 am.  there was an airbrush tattoo desk, a little corner to create your own super hero mask, draw your own comic strip, and a radio disney dj booth.  it was a nice event and very well attended.  the food wasn't free though, but we got to watch the movie for free so pwede na rin.  =) 

captain america air brush tattoo

sparkle girl

the movie was great!  i really liked how they brought all the characters together.  we were a little hesitant to take michelle to the movie because we were not sure how she'd react to the fight scenes in the movie but since there was the pre-party that we thought she'd enjoy, we took her with us.  before the movie started, i told her that it was just a movie and it wasn't real...that the super heroes will be fighting with a lot of bad guys but the heroes will definitely win.  during the movie, she was a little scared in the beginning but later on she was watching and laughing at all the punchlines.  she said she really liked the movie and that it wasn't scary.  the avengers is approved by this 5 year old girl.


i must say, as much as i love the x-men, the avengers might be my favorite super hero movie.  i am already looking forward to the next one!


since we were in the south bay, we did not pass up the opportunity to eat at boiling crab again.   my dad liked it.  =D

day 17, bell's palsy

i'm feeling more and more 'normal' but my left eye still gets extremely tired at the end of the day.   


i am also feeling under the weather AGAIN! urgh!!!!  i really need to adjust my diet so that i am eating more and more fruits and vegetables so i can boost my immune system.  i've been really good with taking my multivitamins but it doesn't seem to provide me with all the nutrients my immune system needs.  dinner tonight was miso soup, blueberries, and a banana.  i don't really have much of an appetite. *sigh*

2 weeks!

it's been two weeks since i was diagnosed with bell's palsy.

i noticed that the area around my left eye (the forehead, temple, socket) feels tender and slightly painful.  it's not terrible, but i have been taking advil here and there to help with the discomfort.  other than that, things are starting to go back to normal.  =D

day 12, bell's palsy

i feel REALLY, REALLY good today.  like i have 75% control of my face.  i even think i can blink on my own now (at least that's what i think.   we'll see about this as the day goes).  


recap of friday night...i was tired from work so i ended up not helping with the fund raising dinner's set up (bad!!!!).  we went to the dinner and had fun...we even won a couple of the raffle prizes.  it is very modest compared to st. thomas more's cioppino fund raising dinner but it's also a smaller school.  anyway, hopefully in the future it will grow to be a bigger event.


yesterday, we went to palo alto for angelina's birthday party.  michelle had a lot of fun and got to pet some pretty 'exotic' animals like a walking stick, a millipede, ferret,  blue tongued skink, a snake, a parakeet, a baby mouse, and a tarantula..oh wait, she didn't touch the tarantula but i did!  hahaha!  nakikibata ako!  i was of course exhausted.  i wore my patch during the party because i know that it will be a long day - you don't know what kind of toll bell's palsy can take on your body unless you've had it.  my dad was our chauffeur again for the day (love my dad!) while paul was at practicing at church.  

these two are always together

i am so glad to be finally off of steroids!  wooo hooo!  i think i gained 5 lbs in the last 10 days...so today i started to eat healthy again and hopefully i can lose 15 lbs before we head off to palm springs on june 1st (yeah, good luck with that, almira!).  has anyone been to palm springs?  i don't really know what there is to see out there.  i just wanted to go because i've never been + we have a timeshare property in palm desert.  we're only there from friday to sunday...i'm thinking of going for an easy hike on Saturday morning and the rest of the time will be spent by the pool (if it's not too hot).  i just want to relax.  i told paul that the summer will be ALL ABOUT CALIFORNIA for us.  we blew all of our vacation money on our trip to italy so we can't really afford to go anywhere else but california.  =D 

day 10, bell's palsy

today is a 'good' day.  there is no really change in the ear situation i mentioned yesterday and i'm not feeling too tired.  i still can't blink but i've been sleeping without the eye patch without drying my eyes out so i am guessing my left eye has been shutting close at least during at night. 

i noticed the last several days that  i have been eating like a glutton despite everything tasting terrible.  a quick google search of prednisone side effects and voila!  increased appetite.  well, thank you for letting me know!  tomorrow is my last day on meds and i  vow to cleanse my self from all the salty stuff i ate while taking steroids.   

women's ministry, field trip chaperone plus the usual

yesterday was an extremely busy day.  i worked from home and was feeling very sick...terrible headache and nausea.  michelle had ballet class, too.  i was thinking of having her skip it again but she's already missed the last two weeks so i told myself that i had to take her and then after ballet class we had our first real women's ministry gathering.  


i prayed for strength because i just felt physically awful.  terrible, terrible.  but God gave me the strength to go through with the day and it turned out to be a real blessing.  it was so nice to gather with my sisters in christ and share what the Lord has been teaching each of us and what we would like to see going forward with our women's ministry gatherings.  i know the Lord will direct us so that we can all share God's goodness with each other and everyone else we meet.


today is day 9 of bell's palsy.  it has felt longer than 9 days.  i really can't wait to get 100% better. again, the lopsidedness is not noticeable, the eye is still my main gripe and the pressure on my head....now the ear is starting to bother me.  increased sensitivity in my left ear - no ringing but it just seems like my  left ear is wide open, no filter.  we'll see how this new thing develops within the next few days.

i was a chaperone at michelle's field trip at the children's discovery museum in san jose today.  i couldn't really drive that long so my dad was our chauffeur for the day.  michelle wasn't partnered with anyone (that meant we didn't have to drive other kids to/from the fieldtrip) but she roamed around the museum with her bff, sydney, and gracie.  the girls had fun.  i...well, i was miserable the entire time we were there...i didn't want to wear my patch so i don't have to deal with all the questions from the kids and the adults.  i just had to suck it up and for the three hours we were at the museum, that's what i did.  sucking it up sucked, big time.  at least, i had a lot of help with the girls since sydney's dad was there, too, and gracie's mom is the other kindergarten teacher so each child had a parent with them.  after lunch, we all headed back to school so the kids can practice their presentation for the school's fund raising dinner tomorrow.  this week is so busy, i can't wait for it all to be over!

cheeeeeeeeese!

gracie, michelle, and sydney

bffs (best friends forever.  they even have a secret handshake)

about the museum...it was really fun for the kids but since we've been to the children's museum in portland, oregon, the one we went to today doesn't even compare.  bay area folks will have to make do with what we have here (but hopefully they can improve the one we have locally).  if you find yourself in portland, go here! 


now i'm resting.  i am back at work tomorrow plus there's the dinner in the evening where i also promised to volunteer setting up.  *sigh*  i am tired like you wouldn't believe.  the timing is all off.  oh well!  you gotta do what you gotta do.  


ok..time for steroids!!

planning...

i'm tired of talking about bell's palsy so let's take a break and talk about things going on in my head. like...


paul and i are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary in september.  i was thinking of multiple things to do:


option 1:  1 night getaway to Ritz Carlton Half Moon Bay - very expensive for just 1 night but i've been dying to stay here.  it's only 20 minutes away from our home but it seems like a world away.  add to the cost of the hotel room will be dinner, breakfast, and maybe massage at the spa.  hmmm...

option 2:  weekend in las vegas - i told paul recently that i wanted to go to vegas again with him like we did in 2007.  i looked at airfare and hotel for our anniversary and it is do-able, but more expensive than option 1.  driving will bring cost down significantly but also use up a lot of time.  

option 3:  weekend in beverly hills - i stayed at the beverly wilshire several years ago and loved it...paul has never been so it would be nice to do it for our anniversary.  the hotel is directly across the street from rodeo drive.  we can explore beverly hills and the los angeles area and soak up some warm california sunshine.  price of option 3 will be about the same as option 2.

i wonder what he'll enjoy the most?

bell's palsy, day 8

i had very little sleep again last night...the problem is if i wake up in the middle of the night for any reason, it is next to impossible to go back to sleep.  *sigh*

i noticed a mild ringing in my ear this morning and it's a little bit more sensitive.  there's pressure again on the left side of my head and i felt a little nauseous earlier, too.  no extra lopsidedness, though.  again, i'll take that as a good sign.  

i'm working from home today but i probably will be resting more today.  i can't wait to be at 100% again. 


updated 2:10 pm...i am feeling a terrible headache and getting nauseous again.  i have to wear the patch as much as possible...i noticed the pain and discomfort is worse when i do not wear it too much.  


i feel terrible that i am not able to spend quality time with michelle.  after i get home from work, all i want to do is stay in bed...she wants to play and do stuff together, but i just don't have the energy fo it.  =( haaaay!

day 7 of bell's palsy

7 days ago, i was diagnosed with bell's palsy - a condition of partial facial paralysis.  yesterday, day 6 was the toughest one for me.  i had not been able to sleep the night before because of my medication (prednisone, a corticosteroid).  i remember taking the medicine at around 330 pm but apparently, that was too late for me to take.  i hadn't slept a wink and had to go to work.  i was running on caffeine and another doze of prednisone but by 1 pm yesterday, the pressure on my face, eyes, and head was just too much.  i left work at around 2 pm, went home and stayed in bed except to eat so i can take another doze of meds which i did as soon as i got home.  2 pm is early enough to take it, i fell asleep last night and feeling ok today.

have you ever been really conscious about gravity?  it's another one of those things we tend to ignore except when you're riding a rollercoaster or falling off of something.  well, everyday since i had bell's palsy, gravity has been reminding me that it exists.  yes it does and don't i dare to forget about it!  it tugs on my face towards the ground and there's not much i can do about it but cope.

it's not all bad news though.  the sagging of my face has not really increased.  i am most comfortable ok when i have a patch over my eye and lying down but there are things that need to be done here at work and there really isn't anyone to fill in for me.  i told my boss that i will plow through my days but when it gets really tough for me, like it did yesterday, i'm going home.  she totally understands and i know that if we had more team members with us, she'd probably tell me to stay home and rest until i feel well enough to make it through the day.  oh well!  i also told her that on days she's not in the office, i'm going to work from home and mostly rest.  fine by her, too.  see!  there's so much to be thankful for.  you just always have to look at the bright side.  it does get better...my face not getting worse is a sign that it's getting better.  well, at least for me...that's how i'm taking it.

it's only 8 am.  i will update this post later in the afternoon.


it's 3:22 pm and i'm just about ready to head home (i work from 730 am to 330 pm).  today went by really well..just a slight pressure/discomfort on the left side of my head.  i felt really productive at work today an i took 2nd doze of prednizone about half an hour ago.  i hope i get to sleep tonight.  sleep is key.  i think i might have some energy to actually function at home today.  thank you Lord!

btw, i have also been taking my daily multivitamin and extra vitamin d.  i read that the B vitamins help reduce inflammation and vitamin d helps the immune system.  doesn't hurt to try it.  =D

tomorrow is the first 'major' gathering of the women's ministry.  i am praying that the Lord will give me the wisdom to help the women at our church and to really have the passion to reach out to others to let them know about God's love.  we are all called to follow Christ and make disciples.  God will equip us.